Girl's Small Group Leader, Pastor's Wife and mommy
Before I was married, I always pictured my future husband as six-foot tall, guitar-
playing college grad who just happened to have a class-clown personality. He would
be good at pretty much everything, and I imagined that he’d be a few years older
than me.
I couldn’t have been MORE WRONG.
PRAISE JESUS!
Mike, my husband, is the perfect man for me. I could list a thousand reasons why.
Our personalities compliment each other beautifully. He is crazy about Jesus, he’s
responsible, fun to be around, and loves our family with a passion I’ve always
dreamed of. I am so thankful that I was SO very wrong about all of the unimportant
things that I thought he’d be, and SO very pleased that I scored on the things that
count.
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"if you aren’t dating with the
intention of possibly marrying that person,
you are knowingly
wasting your time and your heart"
you are knowingly
wasting your time and your heart"
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So what are the things that count? What are the things that truly matter when you
are looking for someone to marry (by the way, if you aren’t dating with the
intention of possibly marrying that person, you are knowingly wasting your time and your
heart)? There are some crucial things that you should be searching for in a future
spouse, and there are some highly desireable traits to pay attention to.
“CRUCIALS”
1. A FOLLOWER OF CHRIST
Is he PASSIONATE about Jesus? NOT does he calls himself a Christian, or
goes to church. Can you see Jesus in him? Does he talk with you about Christ
regularly? I’ve heard so many girls say of their current boyfriend, “I’m pretty
sure he’s a Christian.” LAME! As you look for someone to be the head of
your household, you are looking for a man who is seeking the heart of Jesus,
and can unconditionally love you out of the overflow of the love from God.
It should be obvious. It should be bold. Read 1 John 4: 7-21. These verses
RADICALLY changed what I was seeking for in a husband!
2. HAVE THE SAME FOUNDATION
Do you see eye to eye on basic biblical principals? There should be an
openness in your relationship to discuss the things that are foundational to
your faith. My challenge to you is to spend time NOW investigating what you
believe about Jesus, salvation, grace, forgiveness, marital roles, and other
aspects of Christianity, so that you can later see how your understanding
compares with the future Mr. Right.
3. FUTURE DIRECTION
What are some specifics you dream of for your future? What goals, dreams,
and desires would you find non-negotiable? If you want to have kids, it
doesn’t make sense for you to date someone who despises children. If you
want to be a full-time missionary in Africa, it doesn’t make sense for you to
date someone who hates to travel. Think about things in the long-run, and
date someone who’s future plans compliment your own.
4. FAMILY
It’s so important that your future spouse and your family get along! You want
your spouse to feel like they are a part of your family. Look for someone who
enjoys spending time with your parents and siblings and gets to know them
as individuals. This begins at dating. Your boyfriend should expect to spend
quality time on a regular basis with your family, and you with his.
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you are looking for a man who is seeking the heart of Jesus,
It should be obvious. It should be bold.
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“HIGHLY DESIRABLE”
Here’s a list of other traits that you should seek in a spouse
- Hobbies – What do you enjoy doing together?
- Personality – How well do you compliment one another?
- Intelligence
- Leadership/Servant’s Heart
- Kindness/Gentleness
- Appearance (you don’t want to be repulsed by your future spouse)
- Wisdom
- Responsibility
- Honesty
- Maturity
that he has the strength to be the man that God has called him to be. Ask God to
grant you extraordinary wisdom when you decide to date, and then actively guard
your own heart when you do.
